I don't quite get this retirement thing...yet.

I officially retired at the end of May, and boy, do I have BIG PLANS for a retirement of bliss! But so far, we’ve put in our garden, gone to visit kids in the Black Hills, I’m working on a new manuscript of my own and sending off the last one to try and find a publisher. I finished one book review and I have a manuscript to mull over for a friend, and I’m ALWAYS planning another trip to Ireland in my mind. I’ve taught a week-long online poetry class to grade school kids, and I’ve also been gathering materials, schedules, and knowledge (most of it in my head) to hand off to the person taking over the student organization I’ve shepherded for the past 11+ years. Oh, and our youngest son got married in a beautiful country wedding, and our youngest grandchild (grandkid #6) was born, both in June.

In other words, I haven’t figured out yet how to hit the brakes. Anyone who teaches, knows that during the school year there is NO TIME when there’s nothing to do—watching TV, spending time with family, gardening, etc., are all and always done at the expense of something work related you’re PUTTING OFF and about which you feel extremely guilty. And that’s been my pace for 25 years. So the idea that I don’t have at least a dozen work-related tasks hanging over my head, is foreign to me.

By way of remedy, I got out my MUSE (https://choosemuse.com/muse-2/), which is a cool meditation aide that works on the principle of biofeedback (biofeedback was popular in the 70s so the idea felt familiar to me). I haven’t “Mused” yet since my retirement, but I got it out, and that’s a step, right?

Other ideas for slowing to a sprint are bubbling up, and they mostly involve some version of camping. We don’t have a camper, but we have a big SUV, and I slept in plenty of cars and vans in my hippie youth, so if I take enough Advil, I’m pretty sure I could do it again. And we have a tent. Accommodating our dogs might be a trick, but we’ve got four human kids between us, so we’ve both slept many nights pummeled by little heads, feet, and elbows. How much worse could dogs in a tent be?

We started kayaking last summer, and so far, we’ve been out on the water once this summer. Right now, we shove the kayaks in the back of our old pickup in an awesome rack Ray built. We’d like to travel with them, and once we figure out a way for two mid-age people with various arthritic joints to get the rack and kayaks on top of the SUV, we’ll be golden.

Another current possibility involves fishing. I know nothing about fishing except what I’ve seen on Alaska’s Last Frontier (I’m pretty sure I could land and process a halibut if I had to). My research so far has been Googling “best beginner rod and reel combo.” I’ll admit I don’t like baiting hooks, and I like even less taking fish off once they’re caught and then…argh…cleaning them. But I love the casting, sitting, waiting, and ultimately eating parts, so I think I could channel my Irish coastal ancestors (aka “grow up”) enough to do the not-so-fun stuff. I don’t trust my balance enough to fish from my kayak, but I have a super romantic image of myself sitting on a secluded dock in my red sunhat, slathered with SPF 250, holding my Plussino 24-ton carbon matrix telescopic pole with 12 +1 shielded bearings stainless steel BB spinning reel. You can see it, right?

Oh yeah, and I bought myself an indestructible (polycarbon/plastic) travel guitar. Ray has a djembe, a bodhran, and a set of bongos for travel drums. Those RV glampers will positively swoon when we launch into our soul-stirring “Puff the Magic Dragon/Michael Row the Boat Ashore/Kumbaya” medley. I have a plan in my head for a tip jar made from a recycled 2 lb. Folger’s can, some glitter glue, and neon orange duct tape.

So I really am planning a blissful retirement. Of course, I live in South Dakota, and I haven’t formulated my plans yet for our 9 months of winter (kidding…it’s only 6 months). AND Covid isn’t finished with us, so we may be back in quarantine hiding out from Delta if unvaccinated idiots don’t start thinking about someone besides themselves. AND if I can learn to say NO to the projects, board positions, and part-time jobs that keep popping up in my email, I’ll have this retirement thing mastered in no time!