Out from Under the Bush

“Do not hide your light under a [george] bushel.” I think this little admonition from the Christian Sermon on the Mount is good advice in the new year. It’s time to stop quivering in the bushes and step out into the sun.

Over the past decade, Madison Avenue, along with and inspired by the Bush administration, has been systematically scaring the bejeezes out of us. Bush seemed to think of himself as a benevolent parent doing what’s best for his precocious toddlers. It’s sort of like when your well-meaning dad says if you don’t stop throwing Barbie heads down the heat registers, the troll in the basement will eat you in your sleep.

Madison Avenue just assumes we actually ARE toddlers—drooling, mouth-breathing, nose-picking, butt-scratching morons, our Pampers stuffed to overflowing with disposable cash, completely incapable of distinguishing between need & want, fact & pitch.

Well, I’ve allowed myself to be sucked into blind consumerism and manipulated by fear mongers long enough. It’s time to R.I.P.! This isn’t rest in peace, although I see that as a lovely benefit; it’s Resist Inessential/\Ineffectual Product. The “product” we’re supposed to buy [into] is typically government/military control, legal control, pharmaceutical control, or spiritual control, and they sell us this stuff by making us quaking idiots. But resistance is NOT futile. I’m gonna start by resisting well-funded, brilliantly marketed fear of the following:

∙ Pinko commies
∙ Erectile dysfunction
∙ WMD’s
∙ Sin
∙ Mesothelioma
∙ Inordinate tax debt
∙ Mice
∙ Roaches
∙ Women in power
∙ Foreclosure
∙ Small breasts
∙ Large breasts
∙ Peripheral artery disease (PAD)
∙ Rogue terrorist nations
∙ Asbestos
∙ Shipyard workers (re: asbestos)
∙ Dirty hippies
∙ Breast cancer
∙ Recession
∙ People with mispronounced Arabic names
∙ Meth addiction
∙ Dick Cheney
∙ Gays
∙ Arthritis
∙ Catholic priests
∙ Pimples
∙ The Antichrist
∙ Gangs
∙ Yellow teeth
∙ Fat
∙ Fat people
∙ Any ethnic minority (your pick)
∙ Avian flu
∙ Stock market crash
∙ Funeral costs
∙ Lack of insurance
∙ Stroke
∙ Heart attack
∙ Home breakins
∙ My pets’ nails
∙ Dry foot skin
∙ Frizzy hair
∙ Slow dial-up
∙ Undercooked meat
∙ Germs
∙ Armageddon

The result of this fear peddling is that we no longer ACT. Instead, we live sorry, scaredy-cat lives of PR (prevention & reaction): prevent horrible stuff if you can (by buying the product), react in utter panic to horrible stuff if you can’t. Either way, it’s horrible.

So R.I. P., people. Today, I’m gonna rake up germy peacock poo by the birdbath, stain my teeth with some good strong coffee, and have myself a stick of butter with a spoonful of white sugar. I’m out from under the Bush. Let the light shine.