Procrastiwhat?

I LOVE teaching, but I have a patholgical aversion to grading papers. Really “seek professional help now” pathological. I think it's the whole judgment thing, and who am I to judge? So these are the things I’ve done so far today to avoid grading:

1. I baked parrot bread. This is cornbread, with loads of grated veggies, blueberry baby food, whole eggs (crushed shells too), peanut butter, and olive oil. When it’s cool, I cut it in little squares and freeze it in baggies. Our two parrots each get a square every day. Stella can say, “Mmmm…good bread.” She likes it warmed up in the microwave. No sunflower seeds for these spoiled parrots—they also get organic parrot kibble, whole almonds (shells on), and table food.

2. I scrubbed the George Forman grill.

3. I repotted a burro tail succulent that Yogi knocked off a plant stand. I haven’t met an animal yet that doesn’t LOVE munching on burro tail if given the chance.

4. I gave the peacrew some corn. They’ll come RUNNING for corn. Then, of course, I have to stand around and watch, laugh, maybe take pictures, while they leapfrog trying to hog the food. And while I was there, I took a census: it looks like 6 males, 6 females, and Ike, who’s a pied (mostly white with irregular black and tan markings). I can’t tell with Ike. I try not to think about how many peacocks we’ll have by this fall, and after watching a National Geographic special about how turkeys (closely related to peacocks) are the evolutionary descendents of raptor dinosaurs (a la velociraptors in Jurassic Park), I’m getting nervous…

5. I sorted my knitting into “needs loose ends woven in” and “done” piles.

6. I transferred my marimo, Japanese lake moss balls, from a quart canning jar to a bigger glass cookie jar my daughter gave me. I dumped in some glass rocks to cover an airstone hooked to a tiny aquarium pump. I wanted some bubbles in the jar, because the circulating water helps keep the marimo moving, which keeps them nice and round.

7. I rearranged pictures hanging in the living room and dining room when I noticed one picture was slightly lower than the others.

8. I did a couple loads of laundry.

9. I fixed Solar Mary. I have a hollow plastic statue of Mary in the yard that my friend found in a dumpster on Hwy 50 west of town and gave to me for my birthday last year. I stuffed her full of white solar lights, which keep falling to the bottom of the statue. So today, I brought her in and, using clear packing tape, distributed the lights evenly inside so that at night Mary wouldn’t look quite so much like her arse was lit up.

10. I arranged my yarn and wool stash by weight, color and tone (just kidding…but I WANTED to…).

Okay, I think things are in order. Now I can grade papers, just as soon as they’re stapled, sorted by class and assignment, and alphabetized by student name…