Even when I was younger, we wanted to talk about our health—how super-fit we were, why YOUR lifestyle choices were all wrong, why you should have listened to our “friendly advice” on diet/supplements/workouts/blahblahblah. However, post-retirement and currently in my “golden years” (which I now understand to mean tarnished with a smattering of heavy metal poisoning), the conversation has changed.
Now, we compare conditions, illnesses, strange growths, bodily losses (elasticity, hearing, vision, energy, hair, flexibility, the ability to laugh/sneeze without peeing), titanium replacements, and procedures like we used to compare career accomplishments or rare bourbon finds.
A new topic of GAP gossip is GLP meds and/or our “weight loss journeys.” I’m in no way ashamed to tell you that thanks to GLPs, I’ve lost 60+ lbs. And although GLPs may have their own problems (believe me, I get earfuls of “friendly advice” about the disasters awaiting me—hair loss, diarrhea, nausea), it sure beats dragging around those three 20-lb sacks of potatoes I used to have strapped under my chin(s), around my non-existent waist, and on my hips. And does it feel good to get back into human “girl” clothes after decades in circus-tent Big & Tall men’s athletic wear? You betcha.
When my friends and I got together in our youth (anything up to age…uh…60), we compared vacations, concerts, our sex lives, recipes, and various partner-related adventures. Now we compare bone density scans, hormone replacement therapies, arch supports, sleep (or non-sleep) cycles, orthopaedic procedures, ENT follow-ups, CPAP settings, functional medicine specialists, supplements (pumpkin seed oil for hair loss, DIM and A-Drenal for hormone support and fatigue, magnesium for dang near everything…), and the best bras for hoisting up the girls. Talk about sex has moved much lower down the list, just below a good gel eyeliner that doesn’t pull on delicate old-people skin and a body butter that solves the “scaly leg” problem.
Ray and I go out to dinner with friends once a week, after his weekly gig at our Little Town Watering Hole. The topics of conversation can be varied and fascinating, but upcoming appointments and procedures, as well as general medical advice (because we’re all medical experts now) usually pop up once or twice. We drive each other for colonoscopy and cataract appointments now, like we used to drive each other for shopping or salons.
We do occasionally talk about other things. Lately it’s politics. But given a choice right now, I’d rather hear about your plantar wart removal…
